Your questions, answered…
- What was it like for you the first time you went down on another woman? What were you thinking and feeling?
Truthfully, I can’t completely remember the first time I went down on a woman. Odd, right? I mean, I think I can remember the first handful of times.. because I remember parts of the relationship, but so many things about my first are a blur. I think it is mainly because I am so far removed from that relationship both mentally and emotionally that it is truly something that felt like it was in another lifetime. I have grown and changed incredibly since then, and a lot of who i was is no longer with me. But to get back on topic, I remember it feeling RIGHT. I never had the urge to go down on a man, never. In fact, not only had I never had the urge, but I flat out never did it at all. I made it clear to my ex-boyfriends that it was something I just didn’t do and that my blatant denial at their advances towards it would always remain the same. In going down on a woman, it was something I wanted – at times, I probably even needed it. I do remember times of pure nervousness. Not only probably the first time, but many times after that, and even now. There is a “performance” feeling to it.. you don’t want it disappoint and you don’t want to fail in delivery. It felt right, it felt comfortable and I welcomed the experience. There is something remarkably exciting about pleasing a woman. Probably because of the way her body reacts – the movements of her body alone are enough to drive the senses insane. Needless to say, going down on a woman, first time or anytime after, was and is something on the top of my list of favorite things to do.
- Why be a lesbian?
Why be a lesbian? I don’t even know that I fully understand the question. I suppose I can start at the beginning in saying that something slowly came over me. Until I was 17, I had always envisioned myself with a man. In fact, I was nearly certain of the one I would marry. I remember the moment vividly at my high school graduation when I was seated next to a girl named Ashley. Although she never discussed her sexuality, she wore a rainbow bracelet and we knew what it meant. I remember sitting there and eyeing the bracelet – and a thought came over me, “Could I ever date a woman”.. Although it was some months later before I finally found myself attracted to one and acted on it, I believe that was the beginning and the end of my heterosexual self. In my initial dealings with women, I felt myself more satisfied than I had ever been with any boyfriend – even the one I was preparing to commit a lifetime too. Sexually, I had experienced something that I hadn’t before – pure bliss. Don’t get me wrong, I had enjoyed sex with men before, but in being with a woman, my body responded in ways that were completely foreign to me. So, I guess the question to answer “why be a lesbian?” would be.. “why be anything, but happy?”
- Would you ever consider being in a relationship with a man if you never had to have sex with him?
No. For starters, I wouldn’t feel fulfilled being with a person I had no attraction and therefore, no chemistry with. Sex isn’t everything, but it is something! I couldn’t even imagine myself in a relationship with a woman if I never had to have sex with her. It is a part of our bonding, our expression and our connection and although there isn’t a daily quota to satisfy, there is a need for satisfaction and a man – or any individual I was uninterested in sexing just wouldn’t do it for me.
For this series, I am always accepting questions. I am an open book and if you ask, you’ll most certainly receive an answer. If there is something you are curious about, feel free to submit the question through any of my forms of communication, and I’ll write on it. (email: email@example.com or Twitter: inspired_enigma)