Her: Miss me?
Me: because i kind of like you
Me: yup. you’re growing on me…your dimples are cool & stuff
Her: Like fungus or like flowers?
Me: a mushroom is a fungus that’s a flower, right? if so, like a mushroom.
Please enjoy this Now Featuring by Saudi
over at Young, Black, Gifted & Almost Broke
My Juicy and I have had many bonding moments and a quote on Enigma’s page allowed us a moment recently. The line by Rihanna
ol’ nasty self said, “I know you’ve been hurt by someone else.. I can tell by the way you carry yourself. If you let me, here’s what I’ll do: I’ll take care of you.”
Thinking back to my pre-Juicy era, I know for a fact that the hurt that I was carrying caused a big blockage in everything that I did. I compared everyone and everything negatively to my past experiences and couldn’t see beyond the hurt that I “thought” they were going to inflict on me. If I wasn’t doing that, most of the time I tried to appear distant, as though I was running away from my emotions, just so I wouldn’t get hurt. What I failed to realize was that I was hurting myself and not the people around me.
During our moment, I asked my girlfriend the most complex but simple question, “Why?” Hell, I didn’t even know what I was asking but something prompted me to do so. Her response was a simple one: “I want what’s best for you instead of wanting the best of you.” WOW! I had to sit there and think about what she said for a minute because I wasn’t expecting an answer so raw. As we sat there, I couldn’t help but to think to myself, “How can wanting what’s best for me be better than her receiving my best? Isn’t that kind of selfish on my end?” No. It’s not, because when you love and are loved in return there is an obligation to take care of yourself, better care of yourself for those you love. My happiness and joy prompted her happiness and joy. If at some point I am my low, she would be there to get me back to my middle ground and eventually my high. That right there is wanting the real and not just the superficial.
In that moment I realized that love is the bearing of oneself into another. The great thing about it is that such bearing…such emptying is followed by a personal self-discovery that makes everything spiritually complete. It may seem a little confusing but, the best for me allows me to give her, not just the best of me, but the best me. AND THIS…goes vice versa.
Who are you giving your best to?