Posts Tagged ‘growth’
The past has passed– let it fucking go.
Even with the curse words, well said. Lately, I have been working on teaching myself this. In the past, I have always had trouble with forgetting things && letting them go. Essentially, that’s cheating myself out of happiness. I’ve been doing a lot of “soul searching” and growing up lately and this was one of the things I challenged myself to do– let go of the past. Stop harboring on wrongs that were done, hurts that were caused or mistakes that were made. In moving forward not only with myself, but with others, I’ve added the crucial element of LETTING IT FUCKING GO. What’s in the past, has passed– no longer will I carry those things with me.
A clean slate.
A new beginning.
- Why do aggressive lesbians of different races all got for certain looks? ie: black lesbians have dreads, white lesbians the Beiber cut and hispanic lesbians have the long ponytail and a shape up.
I am not sure how to answer this one. I do believe that there are stereotypes across the board, but I am not sure I could pinpoint the reason why. If forced to guess, I would say that it is probably for the same reason other “looks” happen— it’s a trend. I think that there is a style that comes with being the more dominant female, I guess that there is also a style depending on your ethnicity. Interesting question.
- How do you know when you’re complete and ready to love someone with all of your heart?
Certainly, when you love yourself fully. When you love yourself first and the most, you are in a better place to take on loving someone else. Add to that, you need to have your past and present in order. Everyone has baggage, but that baggage should fit securely in an airplane overhead compartment. If you are dragging along this one, that one, her ish, your ish, y’all ish & the ish of the two exes before that. You have some offloading to do. More than both of those things, you need to be prepared for honesty… and I mean that in all senses of the word. You have to be honest not only with them, but honest with yourself. What do you want? What do you need? What are you offering? All too often, we deny not only our partners of honesty, but ourselves as well. Finally, you have to be prepared to stick around through their worst. If you can understand that there will sometimes be the lowest of the lows, but you want to endure it with them, you are ready.
- How do you define success and how do you ensure that you remain on track in order to attain it?
I like this question. To me, success if always evolving. For myself, if I can find equal satisfaction in both my home and work life– with minimal stresses over the health, wealth, prosperity and love of my family, I have completely succeeded.
- What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
When you are alive, you are going through the motions. You’re going through almost the bare minimum to get through each day. You’re lackluster, in a sense. Where’s the thrill- challenge – adventure? Truly living is to make it count. Maybe not every day, but as often as possible. To laugh, explore, love and risk like the very next moment is far from guaranteed. To appreciate. To value. To enjoy.
- What do you miss most about Desire? If you can’t pick one thing, name to top 3.
Hm. Like I said before, she was my best friend. Yes, we were lovers– but I think so many lovers aren’t really best friends.. I use to tell her we were “too gay” because on too many occasions we said things at the same time.. I miss those moments of having my best friend & my lover in the same place, at the same time.
- If the average life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
Difficult question… I guess that is because I don’t look at the current life span or life expectancy rate because although that is an average for the general population, I am not naive enough to believe that my time here can’t expire long before that. So truth be told, I am not sure I would do anything differently.
- What is your greatest fear in life?
Spiders and clowns. LOL! My greatest fear is failure… and that is in all things. I can’t stand to feel like I have failed at something or let someone down. I work hard, I love hard & I hold myself highly accountable in all things. When something falls through the cracks, it takes a lot out of me.
- How do you feel about the saying “Just because you love someone doesn’t mean you should be together.”?
I think that with love- true love, comes respect & admiration. If you can find someone who loves and respects you in a way that you are able to return to them in full, I believe that love is enough to be together. There are too many things going wrong in the world to let go of things that can go right – love & respect & admiration. HOWEVER, if you are experiencing an Ike & Tina kind of love, I need you to exist stage left because that kind of love will NEVER be enough.
- Do you have any major writing projections in the works? Is that why you have been missing?
Have I been missing? LOL! I don’t have anything major in the works, per se. As I recently disclosed, I am working on maximizing “Regina & Jae” for a larger market. Also, I am going to continue to expand on “Going the Distance”.. At one point, I was working on developing a writing collective or creative pieces, but whether I will continue down that path is yet to be seen.
- At what age did you lose your virginity to a woman?
This almost felt like an OB/GYN preliminary exam question. I lost my virginity to a woman when I was 18— and never looked back! haha. One of the best decisions of my young adult life.
- What do you think are major components to a successful relationship?
Well, being that I recently came out of a relationship, I don’t know if I am an adequate source, lol. But in an effort to answer the question, I believe in laughter and understanding. If you can laugh together and understand each other (or at least try to), I think you just might be alright. You should never stop laughing- never stop playing- never stop enjoying one another. I read a quote that said, “To be successful in a relationship, you can’t ever stop dating one another.” and I believe that couldn’t be more true. You have to continuously find enjoyment with each other and continue yearning to understand and learn more. *shrug* Again, having recently exited a relationship, I’m not sure I am the best source— but that all sounds right to me.
- Would you consider yourself the aggressor in bed, or more of the submissive type?
This speaks majorly to my mood. While I can say more often than not, I do submit– when I want what I want, I have absolutely no problem in going after it, which is when the aggressor switches on. I am by no means a pillow princess!
- Which is more important to you in a relationship – love or loyalty?
Hm. I mean, in love, shouldn’t there be some loyalty? Further, if you are loyal to someone, chances are you have some type of love for them, right? Anyways- I want to say, you shouldn’t have to choose between the two. For me, they coincide. I believe that with love, there are other components – respect, adoration, loyalty, protectiveness, etc… As for loyalty, I would believe it to coincide with love, adoration and respect.
- Which 3 followers would you like to meet in person?
Well! Meeting you would be cool— for whatever reason, I haven’t chased you away yet. Haha. But in all seriousness, you would be a person I would consider meeting. I would also like to meet *Jay who is the owner/operator of Up4Discussion. He is really a pretty awesome guy. I love his vision and the way he has grown over the years. His endless support, encouragement and overall faith is also something I don’t take lightly. Finally, I would love to meet Sunny in person. She has been hands down one of my most faithful and dedicated supports. Words can’t express how much I have appreciated her over the years. She has seen me grow from about four posts to the volume of posts you see today.
- Why don’t you drop the C’s (Celtics) and support the Knicks?
Well, as you know, the Celtics no longer have Ray Allen, Paul P or Kevin Garnett – Therefore, I must follow my heart (which is far as hell from the Heat)… I am officially a NETS fan. *hangs head in shame* I must stay faithful to my boos— SEE Y’ALL NEXT SEASON!
Thanks again to those of you who provided questions. This was truly a workout, lol. As always, you can submit questions to me by commenting on this post- emailing me at email@example.com- tweets/DMs on twitter @inspired_enigma- or anonymously through the website: ask.fm/InspiredEnigma