Dear You..

I saw a prompt today that encouraged me to write a letter to my 14-year-old self. Immediately, I tried to imagine myself at 14. Not because it was “so long ago” but because I tried to remember the type of person I was then, compared to the type of person I am now. Anyways, here it goes:

Dear Little You,

It’s been 11 years since the last time we spoke, and words cannot express how much you are missed. Had you known your mother would have picked up and moves just days before your birthday, you might have spent that summer a little differently. Abandon ideas that your friendships wont change and more quickly accept the fact that you are now at the Shore to stay. Carefree, bill-free and debt-free.. my dear, how incredibly lucky you are. Don’t dare you be in such a rush to grow up. That job you’ll be starting this year, don’t rush. Take your time. Enjoy your evenings, enjoy your sports, enjoy your summers off. Know that the “love” you feel in the soon to come years are nothing more than idealistic crushes of the heart. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a fourteen year old prude. In fact, one day you will be almost the dramatic opposite. Oh! I should probably mention that you’ll also end up being a lesbian. That might help answer some of the questions plaguing yourself at 17.   You’ll grow up to break hearts and suffer a few damaged pieces of your own. But believe, you’ve always made it through okay. Your friends at fourteen are distant memories of your current self. In fact, it’ll feel like it was in another lifetime. Your mother will still be your walking and talking diary. You wont be able to stop yourself from breaking her heart. Be you – she’ll love you anyways. Your best friend will pass away long before her time. Those silly arguments, get over it and make amends. You’ll miss her when she’s gone. WRITE! Write everything, all of the time. Never stop writing. You’ll need this outlet. This outlet will need you. Never downplay how amazing you are. Those who love you will appreciate all of you.

Sincerely,

The older, not-so-much-wiser, You.

Just a thought..

I like y’all, so I’m going to be more honest than usual right now:

Sometimes, I get incredibly tired of doing the right thing and being a good person. By nature, I’ve just about always done what’s “best” for myself and others.. even when they were wrong, didn’t deserve it, failed to acknowledge the effort, were stubborn, etc. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I want to live a reckless life, I’m just saying that sometimes, I want to through caution, respect, lady-like behavior and home training out the window and just act in an out-of-character manner.

Being the bigger person can truly become exhausting at times. I can’t tell you how many instances there have been in which I really would much rather tell a person to kiss my ass, than humble myself in recognition of keeping the peace.

People always view me as this respectful, responsible and heartfelt person… but for once, perhaps I should shock them all.