Dear You..

I saw a prompt today that encouraged me to write a letter to my 14-year-old self. Immediately, I tried to imagine myself at 14. Not because it was “so long ago” but because I tried to remember the type of person I was then, compared to the type of person I am now. Anyways, here it goes:

Dear Little You,

It’s been 11 years since the last time we spoke, and words cannot express how much you are missed. Had you known your mother would have picked up and moves just days before your birthday, you might have spent that summer a little differently. Abandon ideas that your friendships wont change and more quickly accept the fact that you are now at the Shore to stay. Carefree, bill-free and debt-free.. my dear, how incredibly lucky you are. Don’t dare you be in such a rush to grow up. That job you’ll be starting this year, don’t rush. Take your time. Enjoy your evenings, enjoy your sports, enjoy your summers off. Know that the “love” you feel in the soon to come years are nothing more than idealistic crushes of the heart. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a fourteen year old prude. In fact, one day you will be almost the dramatic opposite. Oh! I should probably mention that you’ll also end up being a lesbian. That might help answer some of the questions plaguing yourself at 17.   You’ll grow up to break hearts and suffer a few damaged pieces of your own. But believe, you’ve always made it through okay. Your friends at fourteen are distant memories of your current self. In fact, it’ll feel like it was in another lifetime. Your mother will still be your walking and talking diary. You wont be able to stop yourself from breaking her heart. Be you – she’ll love you anyways. Your best friend will pass away long before her time. Those silly arguments, get over it and make amends. You’ll miss her when she’s gone. WRITE! Write everything, all of the time. Never stop writing. You’ll need this outlet. This outlet will need you. Never downplay how amazing you are. Those who love you will appreciate all of you.

Sincerely,

The older, not-so-much-wiser, You.

Footprints

One night I had a dream–
I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord
and across the sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints,
one belonged to me and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that many times along the path of my life,
there was only one set of footprints.
I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest
and saddest times in my life.
This really bothered me and I questioned the Lord about it.
“Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,
you would walk with me all the way,
but I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life
there is only one set of footprints.
I don’t understand why in times when I needed you most,
you should leave me.”
The Lord replied, “My precious, precious child,
I love you and I would never, never leave you
during your times of trial and suffering.
When you saw only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you.”

Amen